I was actually looking forward to attending the wedding dinner which is tonight a few weeks ago. But after what happened during the dinner last week, I don't want to go anymore. I mean, why should I go there to see how much people disrespect me and that I have to respect them so much?

This may sound exaggerating but, when I think about it I ask myself, "Why must I show them respect when they don't show me theirs'?" I feel like killing myself. I was wondering if I were to tell my father that one day, how is he gonna respond. Scold the hell out of me? Sympathize me (something I don't wish for)? Ignore me? I don't know.

Sometimes I really hate my life. But I'm in no position to do that. Why? Because look at those children in Africa. Suffering without food and drink everyday, but they are still persevering to find food and make the best out of their lives. I, myself here, have a comfortable bed to sleep on, sufficient food and drink to enjoy, etc.

I really feel sorry for not being able to make it to Lyanne's birthday party. Being such a close friend of hers, yet I have to disappoint her because of one damn ass wedding dinner.